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Life after My Transsexual Summer (Ch4). Gender Documenter. Film-maker. Writer. Actor. Creative. Get in touch: @salutehq on Twitter or salutehq@gmail(dot)com

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    Posts tagged with ‘TOP SURGERY’

    Really happy I went with Dr Garramone. But there was trouble on the plane (damn you BA) and in the past 48 hours have been suffering an allergic reaction to an anti-biotic cream. Necking prescription anti-histamines and slathering on the aloe vera gel and feeling rather overwhelmed in my new box-filled home. More about this, as well as top travel tips for surgery in the USA, on my Original Plumbing blog ;) 

    I’ll be writing a more in-depth blog about my Top Surgery for Original Plumbing Magazine and a UK magazine (hopefully) but I wanted share a few images of my top surgery. The surgery only took 1.5 hours, with Dr Garramone in Florida. I’ve been overwhelmed with support and love from YOU. I’m on some serious pain meds and pretty drowsy but Dr G said it went well.

    Like all my Brithday/Xmas presents rolled into one, this is the best gift EVER and I’m so excited about ‘unwrapping’ the bandages in 7 days. It’s been a very emotional time for me so it’s fantastic to have the support so many. 

    THANK YOU :D

    Thank you SF & BAY AREA for relaxing times. 

    SURGERY LOOMING:

     We just got to Florida and it feels very different here. Leading up to this point I felt alarmingly calm about surgery. Excited even. Now it’s here, I feel an overwhelming sense of grief in my heart. I wish that I could have enjoyed being in my own body, without any hormones or surgery. (I don’t have that overwhelming wish to have been born a cis-male, nor do I regret my path leading up to this point.) I have pinpointed this grief as the guilt and sadness of not appreciating the way I was born. Of not appreciating my body and my chest. Of making mountains out of my molehills. At some point I began feeling ungrateful…for not just accepting the gift of two arms and legs and a regularly beating heart. But it’s more than that. I have to forgive myself for wanting to change my ‘natural self’. Wearing a binder is restricting, sweaty and makes me feel weird. And not wearing a binder gives me so much anxiety, it isn’t an option. So I have to go down this path. Expensive, disrupting and finally here.

    This is my pursuit of happiness. It is no one’s path but my own.  And there’s always that risk that I might still feel uncomfortable in my own skin; then what?